My lovely friend, Jenn reminded me the other day that I have to let the guy come to me. Unfortunately, I am not good at that. I have never been able to do that. I guess it comes from the old fear that if I don’t let a guy know how I feel he’ll be too scared to tell me how he feels. I have always been told that guys are intimidated by me and all through out high school guys had crushes on me but none of them acted on it because they all thought I was above them. (Now that’s a ridiculous thing to think!) They all thought I would only date college guys. It’s crazy how people get ideas in their heads about other people and even though they have no proof, they believe what they assume. I found this out a few years after school was over and when I told the guy that I didn't have a boyfriend all through out school and he was floored. That's what you get when you don't ask questions, boys!
Again, I have to stop with the old beliefs and rethink how I think. The old me always thought; There are not enough single men in my city. I intimidate men. Men only want me for sex. Men only want to be friends. And the freakiest thing is that the two times a guy did come to me, both ended up being psycho. My first was the abusive one and the second one was some psycho who was actually diagnosed as psychotic. Something I found out after we broke up. But he still stalked me and it took me four months to get rid of him. So I am a little gun shy when it comes to thinking I should let them come to me. (Third times a charm?) I also felt like I never had a choice when it comes to men. I had no choice when my Soldier left. I had no choice when the next one decided he didn’t have time for me when he didn’t even know how much time I would have asked of him. Like I said before, ask questions.
I understand now how my inner dialogue has put me in the same boat as the boys in school that assumed things they shouldn't and now I believe that it will only take one good man to come along that won't be intimidated and will ask questions. So no more thinking there's not enough men. Now I think that it only takes one.
With that said, I will try it Jenn’s way.
beautifully warm and honest, like you! don't assume men are too scared to share their feelings or too intimidated, any more than you don't like men assuming you ask too much time of them. that's what i meant by waiting. if a good one comes along, do what feels right, shelley, don't listen to me! xoxo
ReplyDeleteOh, Honey, Thank you. I will always listen to you and am willing to try anything that my friends suggest because I know they have my best interest at heart. If it doesn't work, I'll try it my way again. :) I also know that things I do and say can change the future. It is the things I do and say now that will change it for the better. No more negative inner dialogue. No more listening to frenemies when they tell me I intimidate men and no more taking that stuff to heart. xoxo
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